Saudade 2

This post is to complement the first Saudade Post i wrote two weeks ago. I have received some comments from my friends that told me that" Isnt it like the Kite Runner movie?" Well, i was surprised of myself since i have never watched it or even read the book. So i decided to watch it today. It is a really great movie! And yes i have to admit my Saudade post really has some parts about the kite running in the beginning of the movie. But isnt the childhood memories included "Kite Flying" adventures? ( p.S: The Kite Runner is one of the amazing movies i have watched!!!)

But that's not the main subject in my post here .I wanted to express my saudade on another thing that has been agonizing me since a week ago. Last Tuesday, i watched a latin dance show, i saw the enthusiasm of the dancers, i could feel their adrenaline rush when they are up on the stage, their pride when they are doing this "risky" move. I yearned to feel these things again. I yearned to go back to Dabkeh dancing ! YES....I yearned to step on the stage again with my colorful traditional dabkeh cloth and dance to a crowd, smile to them, step my feets with passion , do a mistake, or even fall!! Its been 3 years since i stopped dancing ! There were many reasons. But now i am saudading, to get back, back to the long hectic training sessions, back to the arguments with the coach, back to the dancing sweat ,back to the shows , simply back to dancing....

Saudade

Saudade is a word i learned from a dear Brazilian friend. Almost a year ago , we were chatting online and she put " Saudade" as a personal status message. I asked her what does it mean. She replied, it means that you long for something or someone that you are fond of but lost and you cant get it back. She added that it is different than "nostalgia" in a way that nostalgia makes you yearn for a memory , the good old days, or merely home . But Saudade is much deeper .
It is the recollection of feelings, experiences, places or events that once brought excitement, pleasure, and when we remember them , they makes us live again! But we know we cant have them anymore.

I wrote this whole post because i was " saudad-ing" for something this afternoon. It is Flying Kites !! I was not nostalgic about my childhood memories ..It was more , It was deeper.I was yearning to go out and Fly a kite. Yes I longed to be that little girl again! But i guess this is impossible now.


 How free we were when we were kids? Chasing Kites in the sky, running after each other screaming loud and not looking infront of us ! Our feet full of the hot sand! I longed for those feelings; the smell of the arid desert, the dryness of the hot air, the smoothness , of the sand, the pain of my arms pulling the kite, the shouts of my mother, the laughter of my brothers teasing me, the trials of my footsteps! They cant be back again. Saudade!