Pearl's Powder on "Be7ke" Youtube Show.

This Ramadan 2012, Be7ke released its second season!

“Be7ke?” which  is the fi­rst global Ramadan web-series,  features inspirational three-minute episodes that are released online everyday throughout Ramadan.

One episodes was featuring me  to talk about the culture of food that entails that people to  love their food and eat moderately and consciously. As a food expert, I stressed the fact that a whole food system, that protects consumer's health, should be mutually and ethically reinforced: from the farm to the plate.
Watch this 3 min episode. English Subtitles are available when pressing the CC button

My Graduation Piece

Commencement Exercises in 1930 ( ( Tamir Nassar Albums)

This was my last article submitted to AUB's students official newspaper on campus : AUB OUTLOOK, issue 24, Volume 24.
I had been planning to write this weeks before submissions but couldnt. I wrote it in 30 minutes. So it might not be  a good graduation piece but it does reflect my emotions when I graduated as a Master's candidate in Food Technology, my passion and my career.

“Root and Flow”
Loulwa Kalache, Staff Writer

How could you write about a 6 years life experience in 300 words? I would write a whole book about these life shifting events that I have experienced in AUB.

This article is not for people who graduated but for people who still didn’t .Nothing is more beautiful than fighting for your grades, working hard on your projects and never missing classes. Nothing is more memorable than making Jafet your studying area and “over-nighting” on campus benches when Jafet closes. Or maybe just pretend that you are studying and end up doing crazy things with your friends. Indeed, they always say these days won’t come back, but these are the days that will enable other beautiful days to come.

Chemistry Lecture Hall ( Notice no women in the class! Great Improvement 80 years later in the sciences' field
( Tamir Nassar Albums)

 If I would advise those are still in AUB, I’d tell them not to miss their chances in participating in all the wonderful events. So, plant a tree, become an active member of a club that represents you or maybe that doesn’t, have fun in Outdoors, write in Outlook,  volunteer in the commencement exercises and sign up for the yoga classes in Hostler. Remember though don’t make your interests absolute. Twist them to bring winds of change in your life.

West Hall in 1933, Still the same 80 years later!( Tamir Nassar Albums)

Even your goals are not immutable. You will realize that the dreams you will achieve are not actually the ones that you dreamt of or planned for.

I wanted to do my graduate studies in USA but I ended up I spending three  extra  years in AUB for my masters, and I worked in two different departments .If I were in USA, I would not have become so fond of AUB, or Beirut, or even of my own country Lebanon.

AUB taught me how to be lenient, to be open, and at the same time to be determined of the values that I was raised on. AUB didn’t make me lose my identity but rather built it up and allowed me express it freely. It was on this campus that I got inspiration, chose the proper guidance and built my passion list. It was on this campus; I wore my hijab and found peace with God.

American University of Beirut Chapel, now Assembly Hall ( Tamir Nassar Albums)

The world has to know that AUB nurtures our diverse identities to make them blossom beautifully so that the whole world can see them.

“ I root but I flow” is the motto that I will associate to AUB , just like those 100 years aged trees on the campus, they are rooted but are flowing with their current surroundings, events and people. And this how an AUB graduates is “we root, but we flow”.

The Famous Banyan Tree on West Hall (  Tamir Nassar Albums)

 **Tamir Nassar Albums from American University of Beirut  website,  SAAB Medical Library Archives 

The albums contain photographs from anthropological field trips in Lebanon, Syria and Jordan by faculty and staff from the American University of Beirut in the 1920's and 30's. They were collected by Tamir Nassar who participated on the trips and who also added a few personal photographs over the years.

Ending a Revolutionary Year for You

" The earth doesnt't belong to us, we belong to earth "

I am writing a post on how this year passed, but  I  know I will never be fair , whether I was talking about it from a personal or a global aspect.
Globally:
This year was vivid, starting with the Arab spring revolutions that overthrew the dictators, the world economic crisis and the prices of commodities soaring high ,  along with the Japanese Earthquake,  the Lebanese government chaos, and last but not least, the shameful crisis in the horns of Africa...
You can open all the newspapers, websites and blogs  that will discuss endlessly these global revolutions and uprisals, and these natural disasters that hit the world...

*Though I would recommend that you listen to this podcast; very thorough and tackles all global development issues in 2011 and the predictions for 2012 : click here to hear it .

But as this a blog, is  not a news reporting website,  I am gona  talk about my personal aspect for the year 2011. As it was also the year of revolutions for my blog and me as well.

If you had all these , wouldn't you be blessed? 

Frodo's Wisdom

“ Frodo : How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand there is no going back. There are some things that time can not mend. Some hurts that go too deep... that have taken hold.” JR TOLKIEN .

A great line by the famous writer of the Lord of the Rings Books, JR TOLKIEN. I might have  chosen another line from these books. The script is great, not just random babbling of a writer. Not just a random plot for an  exciting adventure.

 Tolkien's characters are not shallow, they are not  just fighting an evil , they are fighting for the truth, they are fighting for values. They speak eloquently, they speak wisdom. They speak about life, death, patience, trust, and enduring each other for the sake of one aim.

But the main reason I  chose this above quote , because  I have been wondering about this line  for few days. I have been thinking :

 How do we move on? 
How do we forget? 
How does  the book close ?
  Will we ever open it again? Can we? 

Or the book would be burnt already? 
Can time mend everything?
 Can we actually forgive ?

Questions and Questions. No assured answers. 

Time might tell. And time might conceal. 
But I  am sure I will find the answer either in this life, or later....

No Average Eyes

She grows up with a dream, a "wild dream". A dream she thought she will never lose. 

She never wanted to be a doctor, or a teacher or a lawyer like all the girls she used to  play with.

Her mom wakes her up for the morning bath. She watches the ants walking around, while she is sitting in the bathtub. The ants were searching for food in a place that had  nothing.  But look how they were naïve when she poured water or stepped on them. She wanted to have their stamina, their endurance, but she wanted to be witty and sophisticated at the same time.

She went outside to shout at her cat that was ruining the flowers her mom planted. A bee comes around her. She heard it doing its symphonic humming sound to scare her off. Yes, she wanted to hum like a bee..but she didn’t want to sting though. 

A butterfly came roaming around. Then, the little girl thought I wanted to grow up like it; to wander freely, but I want to have a purpose in my roaming.  

She went back inside her house, to the work room of her father, with all the papers thrown here and there …What a mess! Usually, she sneezes alot when she enters this room, it is so dusty and her dad doesnt allow anyone to clean it. She screamed. She found a spider hopping around with his thread.  How fast he was, and how cunning!! She wanted to be like it , fast and light, but she didn’t want to make webs and let people fall for them . 

It is dusk now. Her mom was dressing her up her pijamas, when a moth entered the room searching for light chaotically. The little girl started looking at the light as well, she wanted to be driven by light but she didn’t want light to burn her like that poor moth.  

She is tucked in her bed now. She heard an annoying noise. Here comes the mosquito! Ahh, how she uses the perfect time during the night to get her food. "I want to be smart like it, seize the perfect moment when it comes ", said the little girl."  But I don’t want to live on people." 

 She eventually asked her father to get her a magnifier. Yet she was always afraid from them. 

Perhaps, one time in her life those insects inspired her. Yes, she wanted to be something different. 

Perhaps her dream changed by now, like all the girls who wanted to be doctors, teachers or lawyers...Their dreams changed too. So she is no different than them. But she still holds this aspiration deep inside, that nature will always be her idol, and she will always learn from it.

She is a grown up now. Sitting in bed , reading a book for Rumi , when she comes across this part: “Every tree and plant in the meadow seemed to be dancing, those which average eyes would see as fixed and still."

She knew her childhood eyes were never average. 

Sensory Evaluation of Love

Speaking of part of my major which involves greatly sensory evaluation of food i.e appearance, aroma, flavor and mouthfeel. I developed  a nice " sensory description" lexicon for  Love. Yes Love.


This is is a food scientist point of view of love :

Love -  is not just an experience of feelings , it is a complex sensory experience that beats any  food you will have in your life.


Appearance : Love has no color, no shape.  People report that it can also blind  eyes .


Smell : Once you smell it, It follows you wherever you are. You can never get rid of the aroma .
It can sometimes cause mild hallucination due to its overwhelming effect.


Taste : It is sweet , and bitter as most people say. But you can feel  some pungency on the tongue . In some cases,  astringency can be felt if love became "harsh and dry".


Some tasters may indicate that love has a   vivid taste  that engulfs all flavors and can sometimes add flavor to other things in life. That is , it can be a flavor booster , an " Umami" !!!!


Surely, It will leave an aftertaste , a leftover effect ; either a soothing mouthfeel , either a throat burn down.


Love belongs to the  " food mood"  class in the pyramid as indicated by  the US FDA :P




Perhaps Love is the ultimate sensory experiment that one can get in his life. Perhaps it is because Love is truly the food of the soul, providing energy  and enthralling one's senses every single second.

Notepad

Yesterday night was a night full of agony. I was fighting myself while sleeping, with things i wanted to do, with things I didn't do  and with things i did so far.
I woke up with a plan , I opened a notepad at 4 am in the morning, jotted it down.
The case is that  is not that I will forget these things, but i want them to be constantly haunting me so that I dont procrastinate or even worse hesitate.
And in case i failed , it will be my post of remorse ( I hope not)

of corse the list goes on, but these are my top 5.

PS : i forgot a 6th mission, which  an idea recently that i want to  attend a culinary class/ workshop  and turn part of this blog into a " culinary " appreciation or perhaps criticism ;)                       

                                               ah lets wait and see!

        

60 Pearls

It's my 60th Post . And since i turned 22 yesterday, i wanted to post all the pearls that make my life wonderful :) .
However, i will keep them to 6o only.

These are the 60 pearls that make the necklace of  a happy life :

1.   Blessing of your family.
2.  Falling in love.
3.  Laughing till your stomach hurts.
4.  Riding a car and randomly going to anyplace !
5.  Listening to your favorite song on the radio. And shout at everyone who are talking inorder to hear it
6.  Going to sleep listening to the rain pouring outside., and the thunder bursting
7.  Staying under warm water for an hour or more  !
8. Going to bed early and waking up early
9. Finding some money ( coins) in your purse.
10. Hearing a compliment .
11. Just ignoring what others think bad about you.
12.  Laughing at yourself. Or worse : Laughing without a reason
13. Studying hard for a test and getting the grade you deserve.
14.  Going out to dinner with all your friends.
15. Cooking for people you love.
16. Praying with all your heart and body ….and crying when you pray.
17. Watching the sunset.  And the sunrise :)
18. Remembering your childhood memories
19.  Listening to a song that reminds you of an important person in your life.
20. Playing cards, Monopoloy,  or even Risk….. Like old days
21. Having an  umbrella with you  when it rains accidentally and perhaps sharing it with someone.
22. Sun rays hitting your eyes and you feel you are really beautiful :)
23. Being the devil's advocate and defending other's rights.
24. Seeing the one you love happy.
25. Treating your enemy well.
26. Following the moon when you are in the car.
27. Kissing your mother's forehead .
28. Listening to the stories of your grandmother.
29. Looking under a waterfall, walking in a forest, climbing a mountain and splashing your feet in a river.
30.  Visiting an old friend of yours and remembering great memories.
31. Wearing your new beautiful cloth on the same day you got them.
32. Taking photos of random things you see .
33. Planning a birthday surprise for your friend.
34. Putting a birthday cake in the face of your friend or ice cream on the nose.
35. Having a quiet afternoon, maybe sipping tea and reading a book!
36. Getting a pet to your house !  A cat , dog, turtle , fish, or a bird! J
37. Swimming at night on a hot summer day.
38. Writing a blog : P
39. Shouting at people who annoy you. Yes just do it.
40.  Hearing someone telling you "I LOVE YOU"
41. Charity or doing any voluntary work for your community : ) 
42. Enjoying holiday vacations with your family !
43. Winning a contest or getting an award  because you worked hard on it.
44. Watching Disney movies!!
45. Simply Riding a Boat !
46. Coincidences!  And how they change your whole life!
47. Planting baby trees and see them growing.
48. Smiling to random people , and some who you don’t know.
49. Waiting for a special phone call, text message or email!
50. Playing with  kids ;  their games , their rules.
51. Admitting you were wrong and admitting that you lost.
52. Doing something you never did before like joining a Ta ke wo do class or a yoga or salsa or go skydiving.
53. Having a  five hour conversation with a  friend,  or a special person, or just your brother/sister.
54. Going to a concert for your favorite celebrity and singing their songs  out of your lungs!
55. Getting a surprise gift or sending one :)
56. Dancing and singing on the street!
57. Counting the stars.
58. Writing your own diaries for your future since you are afraid you might forget about your sweet / sad moments of your life.
59. Imagining your dreams coming true : having a family  and kids and being successful in your field :)
60. LAST but not least ,  BREATHING EVERY MOMENT!

An Angel's Kiss, the Sea, Sponge Bob and Milky Way!

" Strawberries, Cherries , and an angel's Kiss in spring .. my summer  is made of all these things ".. This was the summer for the Corrs & U2 ;) hehhe

Well, my summer wont be that different :, but it surely has other delicious  ingredients :)  yummmmy. I can start smelling it :)
Perhaps from : 

summer Solstice was yesterday. Ya, I announce that Summer officially started today.

But how will my summer  be like ?

Trick or Treat Time?

In one of my previous posts , I talked  about time in just a  few lines, as it is something that can never be denied.True.

But I never elaborated , thinking that it is such a truism issue  that is discussed by billions of people. It is really not a special topic anymore, neither a very interesting one. 

Despite that fact, I still want to talk about time. It is indeed something that I can never deny.

I learned how time takes time.

But time can never give us time.

Time is a miser , piling and stashing. But never bestowing us.

And the paradox is that you realize that if there is no time in our lives, things will happen altogether at once.

Or even worse, things will change just haphazardly, with no control.

If there is no time, a rose can shut and be a bud again. So we can no longer enjoy a rose.

If there is no time, we can be kids anytime we want, we can be old anytime we want. Philosophizing a bit? maybe.

But there are tricks you learn in life to deal with time. I have a friend who  once taught me a fantastic thing to do with time. 

Private Number 0

She wakes up on the  resonating sound of the construction of a new building in front of her.
She is irritated as usual. She only wanted half an hour more of sleep!
She felt the urge to open the window and shout at this noisy street she lives in. Just shout out loud.
No one will hear her in any case.


The phone rings. Ahh not her annoying ringtone too. She remembered she should change it. It has been a month.
The phone is still ringing. With no number. Just two words.
“Private Number”.
She is not surprised . Just curious.
She wonders : "Is it a call from a stalker? and he wants to veil those digital numbers? So I cant have save his number."


Or is it a call from secret agents? With a plan for a political game?
Did they see her in that protest?


Is it a call from heaven? An angel in disguise? To warn her about a danger? "
Or is he just a normal human like her? And this “private number” thing is just a technical issue .


She finally answers . A charming voice replies back to her.
They talk. They hang up the phone.
Her private caller keeps calling her afterwards.
And She keeps answering.
The private caller's voice lingers in her head.
But she cant call back and it is agonizing her.

Every day, she waits for those two words to show up on that Nokia scratched screen.
& Every time, she answers, the private caller takes her away,


Takes her away to a far off land, of daring swordfights, magic spells! Perhaps he will be her prince!!
 Or perhaps not. Maybe to a land with fire and hate, where the prince is just another  devil in disguise .....


She would sometimes convince herself that he is all four in one: the angel, the stalker, the secret agent , or just any normal person . But she is sure that he has superpower; he is a “teleporter”, perhaps not in space or place, and neither in time but rather in thoughts and memories.






Beirut : January 2010-April 2011

Grapefruit, Ugly Duckling , & Gibran

Fruits versus their tastes and their ease of eating them : very self-explanatory .
The most peculiar thing was the grape fruit , observe how it is the most difficult and most untasty.
I guess it is the same story as the " Ugly Duckling". How ?
Well, It is the most bitter fruit , considering fruits should have some sort sweetness or  some sourness atleast.
On the graph, it really looks like the "odd" black duckling, abandoned by its fellow fruits.
But like the ugly duckling which flies eventually and proves that  it is not different than the others, the grapefruit  also proved to be one of the  most precious fruits.


Indeed, grapefruit is the most nutritious fruit. It is an excellent source of many nutrients and phytochemicals that contribute to a healthy diet.As well it is a good source of vitamin C, contains the fiber pectin, and the pink and red hues contain the beneficial antioxidant Lycopene. Studies have shown grapefruit helps lower cholesterol,and there is evidence that the seeds have antioxidant properties. Grapefruit forms a core part of the "grapefruit diet", the theory being that the fruit's low Glycemic index is able to help the body's metabolism burn fat.
Grapefruit seed extract (GSE) has been claimed to have strong antimicrobial properties.
Grapefruit also contains large quantities of a simple Polyamine called Spermidine, which may be related to aging. It is known to be necessary for cell growth and maturation, and as cells age their level of Spermidine is known to fall. Scientists have shown that feeding Spermidine to worms, fruit flies and yeast significantly prolongs their lifespan. In addition, adding Spermidine to the diet of mice decreased molecular markers of aging, and when human immune cells were cultured in a medium containing Spermidine, they also lived longer.

But all of us will fall  afterall, for the most tasty and easy , no matter how much we know about the nutritional aspects  benefits !!


Moral :  Beauty is not everything. And neither taste. It is the things that the eye doesn't see or the mouth doesn't taste that has this magical effect on us.


Or Maybe we will recognize what Gibran Khalil Gibran recognized before us:

"Beauty is not in the face;

                                                           beauty is a light in the heart" :)

Cliche-ing The Three

Here i am. Cliche-ing again.
I hate it when my mind is full of cliches things to write.
But i guess life is a cliche thing for all of us.
Maybe not routine. But cliche. Something that is experienced, said, done , and made by million people before us!!

A cliche thing that i was contemplating about today was about 3 things.

Three elements of life we can never deny. Have a guess??
.
.
.
.
.
Well they are : Time , Truth and hearts.

Time can never be denied. It is a always the factor in our lives.Everytime you think or act, you think of time and time .And, It is time that makes all the differnce.


The second element is Truth , no matter how you conceal, it always has its ways to show up- sooner or later.

And ofcorse, hearts, the third element. How you feel towards a person, can never be concealed. Whether hate, love, lust,anger,admiration or envy...They eventually loom out . And it is, as if our heart was an external organ, not an internal one!

Some might argue with that by saying how come some people are able to hide their feelings, or to act infront of others.. But then this makes me come back to element 2: Truth.

Your feelings have a truthful nature. And truth cant be denied, consequently, feelings cant either.

It is a closed loop between these 3 elements, and they can never be denied.

I remembered a wonderful quote that combines those 3 elements :
"They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops, and that's true. What they don't tell you is that when it starts again, it moves extra fast to catch up. " Big fish movie.

Lychee

Sensory lab in Cornell's NY Agricultural Station, NY

I am done from my Sensory evaluation midterm and i remembered an incident .

Three years ago, i participated as a sensory panelist for " Neophobia/Neophilia" .i.e how much we like or hate new food .
They presented to me 6 new foods i never tasted before in my life and i had to taste them 3 days per week. Some were satisfactory , some were tolerable over the two month tasting period, while only one was just unbearable. I used to taste just a milligram from it, and i I used to rush in the tasting.

Thus, it got the worst rating from me. Usually, I don’t like stereotyping food, or even judging food. But this one was the exception to my rule. It had a horrendous texture and taste.

Unfortunately, I didnt know what i was tasting. So, for two months i kept wondering about it , and supposedly i was not allowed to ask anyone about it !

Till I was fed up, I yearned to know why does it taste that bad to me.

I remember that I asked the researcher : “ Madam is this the eye of a cow ?”. I was not joking or mocking. I had a serious look on my face. So her reply was also serious: “ Are you sane? Ofcorse we wont be cooking cow eyes!! I cant believe that you thought that we were giving an eye to taste!”

Well, innocently, It really looked like the eye of something!! It was white, rubbery and covered with a slippery transparent layer and a black thing ( actually it was a seed ) in the middle!!. Yes like the cornea!!

Thanks god the tasting sessions were over. I saw the published results and knew what it was. It was Lychee: a fruit, a tropical berry!!

                   

































I googled everything about this Lychee/lichu . It has a pinkish beautiful skin before it is peeled off. ironically, enough, they stated that it is a fragranced fruit with a sweet taste. Apparently , it didn’t taste like that for me!!

Oh and well , this fruit is used for red tea, cheese cakes, fruit salads, and ice blended drinks!!!

At least now , if I wanted to go Mexico ,southern Africa or china, I will definitely avoid it!

P.S: For list of tropical fruits , you can check this link: http://sonic.net/~alden/Fruittroex.html#litchi

Tala & Dani

It is a story i wrote a couple of years ago. It's a true story though :

Tala a cute brunette girl , a bit shy when she meets new people. But once you tell her your name, she will never forget you.. She holds her mp3 with her and puts her favorite song for Avril Lavigne..( "Hey hey i can be your girlfriend hey")…And starts singing it…..After that, she shifts to another pop song.


She likes teasing me. She even sometimes likes to ignore me when I come, so that I approach her and play with her...

Sometimes, I used to come but she would be sleeping , so i used to watch her in her deep nap calmly, with her blond hair covering her forehead and eyes. You can realize clearly that kids are God's angels when they sleep.

Tala told me about him once, how they played together, and how he gave her his own toys…I sensed her happiness when she talked about him. She smiles and says: “Dani, Yes Dani. He always play with me cards and he always let me win!!"


The first thought that came rushing to my mind was :"Oh Dani lets her win then ! Then, most probably, he’s my age, a grown up, not a six-seven year old boy! ." He was not then a naughty little boy who likes teasing girls of his age. He was not a boy who wants all his toys for himself and nobody else to share them with.


But I wanted to inquire about this “Dani”... .She always talks about him... I felt curious , maybe a bit jealous...So, I asked her: “Tala, does he wear like me, like this blue coat??”.

She replied laughing at my face, as if saying to me you are so wrong: “No, Dani is in the other room!”


I was so struck by this mere idea that he was in the room beside the playroom…Then he was after all a six years old boy…. He suffered like her.


Until one day came and I met him playing with her…..My body shivered and my stomach ached.


They shared the same fate, not just the games…

Friends they were.


The untainted form of friendship…

The lotus and I

"The lotus is a symbol of purity. Its roots are in the mud, but the flower remains above dirty water. Live a lotus life. Be in the world, but unaffected by impurities" my all time favorite quote.

Pond Lake in Ithaca , Cornell's Campus

The story of "me and the lotus" started 10 years ago exactly. I had a drawing competition in my school and I wanted to participate in it. I didn't know what was the subject and the teacher told us to draw on the spot.
So there  I  was, on the class board there was a sticker of a green leave and frog. So it occurred to me ,to draw simply a lake and a lotus. It's a beautiful flower, why not draw it?? So, I did and i won the third prize : a Disney painting set !!!

Another story , why I love this flower , is later my dad brought me this cartoon video " The Swan princes" ..I watched it and  I  loved the swan and the whole natural setting , and ofcorse remarkably, the lotus flower caught my attention again!!

The third story , is when  I encountered a real LOTUS. I mean i touched it, I smelled,I saw it LIVE! It was like heaven. ( heaven might be greater than that)..But then it was like a heaven for me in this world ..  It was beautiful, pure,serene,& a bit traditional. Eastern. Well , lotus flowers always belonged to the eastern cultures, Egyptians or east Asians.. It is part of their religion. I thought it  resembled me..

I took this photo while in Ithaca, Farmer's Market

So , let me tell you what the ROSE lotus symbolized for the ancient Egyptians, it is the sun , the rebirth. it was the first flower of the universe, and from it sprang the first gods.In one creation legend, the sun rose out of a lotus that had grown from a watery chaos. In writing, the lotus was used to represent numbers. One lotus meant 1,000, while a bush with two lotus flowers meant 2,000. Interesting!!
But In Buddhism, lotus flowers mean purity of speech, mind and body rising above the waters of desire and attachment. The lotus is one of the Eight Auspicious Symbols. Different colors of lotus are symbolically used to represent aspects of perfection. There are four colors, which are pink, blue, red and white. Red represents the heart--its purity, original nature, compassion, passion, love and other qualities. White symbolizes spiritual perfection and complete mental purity. Pink represents the Buddha and is the supreme lotus. Blue means wisdom, knowledge and victory over the senses.

In Hinduism, Lotuses symbolize prosperity, beauty, fertility, eternity and eternal youth. Like Buddhism, it also means purity and divinity. A lotus is often used analogously for how people should live. Lotuses are also used to represent chakras, or the body's energy centers.

Yes the lotus flower is significant .For me, how this water lily grows from down
the muddy & murky water , and fights to go up to see the sun, to breath the air, is like a human who is fighting for his dreams, aspiring to a change, or even for achieving an impossible.

The lotus carries the meanings of purity and perfection,new beginnings and the possibility of people growing to change into something beautiful.

And isn't this the story of every one of us ?

Another Lotus I found in Farmer's Market in Ithaca

Saudade

Saudade is a word i learned from a dear Brazilian friend. Almost a year ago , we were chatting online and she put " Saudade" as a personal status message. I asked her what does it mean. She replied, it means that you long for something or someone that you are fond of but lost and you cant get it back. She added that it is different than "nostalgia" in a way that nostalgia makes you yearn for a memory , the good old days, or merely home . But Saudade is much deeper .
It is the recollection of feelings, experiences, places or events that once brought excitement, pleasure, and when we remember them , they makes us live again! But we know we cant have them anymore.

I wrote this whole post because i was " saudad-ing" for something this afternoon. It is Flying Kites !! I was not nostalgic about my childhood memories ..It was more , It was deeper.I was yearning to go out and Fly a kite. Yes I longed to be that little girl again! But i guess this is impossible now.


 How free we were when we were kids? Chasing Kites in the sky, running after each other screaming loud and not looking infront of us ! Our feet full of the hot sand! I longed for those feelings; the smell of the arid desert, the dryness of the hot air, the smoothness , of the sand, the pain of my arms pulling the kite, the shouts of my mother, the laughter of my brothers teasing me, the trials of my footsteps! They cant be back again. Saudade!

"Clichéd"

I will be somehow cliché in this post. Why? Because everyone knows this fact : "time passes really quick".. Well, i was wondering how 7 years passed since i last visited London!! ( Yes that is me in the right of the photo feeding the pigeons in Trafalgar square ). It was in summer 2003..Wow i was still in school ,even before high school! And now 7 years passed , am a graduate student ! Time flies..true.. I love it when times flie..People might disagree with me because they want to experience everything before they die.. Well , for me every day is a new day and i really experience new things everyday, whether time is slow or fast! I sometimes pass by the same street in my university ( which i have walked in it for 3 years ) and i notice something new ! Indeed, I hear a new tune everyday, meet a new person,read something genuine, say something I never said before,taste a new food or atleast buy something i never dared to buy!!! So , it doesnt matter what this clichéd quote says that time is flying by.. In fact, what matters is that you "fly along with it"....

Even if your life is routine.. And you cant change your space, and your place.... Be like that pigeon that comes on the same spot every single day, yet is still enthusiastic , or might be afraid, about the place, about the people that come , about the grain it eats.!!

P.S: I think what the pigeons spoke to each other when they were around me :" See that girl she is different than the others .. I told you buddy, you will see different things on the same spot"

;) 

Behind My Hazel eyes..

You cant miss what you can't remember. & You cant grieve over what you can't see.
So yes, ignorance is bliss.



People give you hope then take them away from you in just seconds. They show you how much they love you but then take it all back the next day.
So yes, be pessimistic when your expecting something.



Life lets you dream . You try your best to achieve them . But then fate interferes and disrupts the whole plan.
So yes let them go.



Many other things makes your heart breaks , your body trembles and your mind fractures.
So yes, just be numb.


Worst case scenarios from behind my own hazel eyes.

When you love a city

 

" When you love a city and have explored it frequently on foot, your body, not to mention your soul, gets to know the streets so well after a number of years that in a fit of melancholy,perhaps stirred by a light falling ever so sorrowfully, you’ll discover your legs carrying you of their own accord toward one of your favorite promontories." 


This was a sentence I came across as I was reading a historical book for the turkish Nobel Prize winner , Orhan Pamuk, called " My Name is Red". The main characters in the novel are miniaturists in the Ottoman Empire. The events revolve around the murder of one of the painters. Pamuk follows a very unique style of changing the narrator with every chapter. Not just this, Orhan uses different unexpected voices, like the coin , or satan...All these events take place during the 16th century in the city of Istanbul in Nine snowy days.

I dont want to elaborate more on the novel.. I just wanted to express my thoughts about the lines that I posted at the beginning.One of the things that are good about not having a car or driving is that I memorize the streets of Beirut by heart. Orhan Pamuk have said it right.


It is true when you love a city, your whole being drives you to the most place you like, to the place you find yourself, to the most place you feel alone and at the same time you feel you have the whole world in your hands. Such a special place, that you wish you can live in it forever, but you know deeply you can't. There are other places waiting for you but this place will be in your heart forever.